How Self Love Changes Your Life For the Best

Oct 12. 2023

We live in a society that rewards deeply self-centred, outgoing, extraverted, result-driven attributes. Besides, we are reproached for exhibiting a touch more self-care and setting our boundaries as if such conduct is a bad thing. However, I argue that self-love is your personal pathway to a peaceful and happy life, so let’s dive into the topic of how self love changes your life.

Table of Contents

What is Self Love?

It took me years to develop good self love, but now I consider it one of the most important things I’ve ever done for myself. I hope I can show how self love changes your life and inspire you to feel similarly about yourself, too, because I know how it helps and empowers me personally!

Many years ago, when the film “Eat. Pray. Love” came out in 2010 and I watched it, it wasn’t pure entertainment for me (I’m totally a rom-com chick). There was this one line in the film that stayed with me all these years:

I don’t even think that it was a particularly great film, and I never re-watched it, but this line just stuck.

It had a powerful impact on me. I was never a very spiritual person close to any kind of god. But this line enlightened me that in the core of myself, there is the most important person worth worshipping and treating well. And that’s how I started my self-love journey.

Self love and self care are different, but one can emphasise the other.

How I see it

To me, self-love is a verb. It’s a set of actions that enhance my well-being, foster a sense of inner calm. Generating an overall feeling of being pampered and cared for. It’s me safeguarding my boundaries, being present in the moment with myself. Pursuing what feels good and authentic to me at present.

But self-love is also a mindset. It’s how you perceive yourself, the thoughts you create about yourself and your life, your capabilities, limits, what can and can’t affect you. It’s about self-compassion and forgiving yourself for the wrong choices you’ve made. And setting healthy boundaries with yourself, others and the world. Self love is something that enhances your resilience, self-concept and personal care.

I love self-love. It’s such a warm, fuzzy concept that stirs these feelings inside me and builds a strong appreciation for myself and my life.

What Self-love is Not

Some people hear self-love and think going solo, which is fine and needed, but we shouldn’t confuse these two things ?

This concept is not here to give us permission to be selfish and inconsiderate to others. It’s not being arrogant, but about remaining humble, loving, and understanding towards those around us.

Self-love is not about striving for perfection. It’s about embracing your imperfections and understanding that you are worthy of love and acceptance just as you are, flaws and all.

Self-love is not indulging in junk food because you want it at the moment. It’s not about accumulating material possessions or indulging in excessive self-gratification. While self-care is a part of self-love, it’s more about nurturing your mind, body, and soul rather than indulging in material excess. We should still strive to treat our bodies with care and provide it with nutritious foods, good hydration and sufficient sleep. So, an act of self love is to have that pizza sometimes, but without letting go of all your self-discipline and allowing yourself to indulge whenever you want.

Lastly, self-love is not a destination you reach; it’s an ongoing journey. It requires continuous effort, self-reflection, and self-care. It’s about cultivating a positive relationship with yourself throughout your life.

How Self Love Changes You

Practising self-love has numerous benefits that can positively impact your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Let’s see what these are and how self love changes your life.

Good Mood

When you practise self love for some time, you’ll notice very clearly that unhappy thoughts in the morning don’t come as easily as they used to. Starting your day right is your gateway to a good day, setting the tone when you wake up. Interestingly, things that would normally destroy your good mood during the day don’t affect you as much. It’s like you’re a rock, and small things just bounce off.

Improved Mental Health

Self-love improves your self-esteem and self-worth, reducing symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress. When you love and accept yourself, you become more resilient to the challenges life throws at you. You’re better equipped to handle criticism, rejection, and failure because your sense of self-worth is not solely based on external validation.

Being Your Own Best Friend

With the power of positive self-talk, you become your biggest ally and supporter. Something to keep you warm from the inside and it cured the sense of loneliness for me personally. You value yourself and your time, and are more selective on who you allow into your life. These healthy boundaries free your time for personal growth and levels up your life further. Read more about 18 signs that you are your best friend.

Improved Self-Concept

When you create space to talk to yourself positively and understand who you are and what you want with self love, your self-concept strengthens. Self-love diminishes the tendency to compare yourself to others. You become content with who you are and focus on your own journey, leading to a more positive and authentic self-concept. It all contributes to a better self-concept. When you know who you are, the less things from the outside can upset you.

Improved Self-Confidence

When you love and accept yourself, you naturally become more confident. You recognise your worth and capabilities, which enhance your self-esteem and self-assurance. Being confident is not thinking you’re better, it’s not needing to compare yourself at all.

Resilience and Problem Solving

Loving yourself helps you build emotional resilience. When you love yourself, you are better equipped to handle criticism and setbacks. You are less affected by others’ opinions and can quicker bounce back from challenges.

Improved Relationships

When you love yourself, your relationships can become much healthier. A positive self-concept attracts positive and respectful people into your life. We literally attract what we already are. When you have healthy boundaries, people can see it, too and they respect you for it, which leads to enhanced connections. When you are happy, you can give more to other people; that’s why I always encourage you to take care of yourself first.

Treating Others Better

Over time, when I started to notice my setbacks and some negative emotions. I understand where they come from and how they affect me. By extension, I now cultivate the same logic and empathy towards others. I recognise everyone is dealing with their own problems and I can be more understanding and compassionate towards them. Someone has been mean towards me? Maybe they are having a bad day. I also started to notice how my friends and family members talk about themselves negatively and sometimes I would just remind them “Please, be kind to yourself”. It stops them for a minute and, I hope, makes them reflect about this a little, inspiring self-acceptance.

Better Stress Management

When you love yourself, you are more resilient in the face of stress. You can cope better with life’s challenges and are less likely to experience chronic stress-related illnesses.

Improved Self-Care

Self-love encourages prioritising self-care activities, such as exercise, healthy eating, meditation, hobbies, and relaxation. Regular self-care enhances your overall well-being. You might start focusing more on the things that bring you joy and fulfilment and do less of the things that drain you and don’t bring you joy.

Better Decision-Making

When you love and respect yourself, you are more likely to make decisions that are in alignment with your values and goals. You are less influenced by external pressures and more focused on your own well-being.

Conclusion

I’ve learned that self-love means both doing things that make me happy and thinking positively about myself. By accepting my flaws, setting boundaries, and taking care of my emotions, I’ve found peace and inner strength. It’s not about reaching a goal, but about always growing, thinking about myself, and taking care of myself.

By practising self-love, I’ve witnessed its remarkable impact and how self love changes your life. It’s not just about a good mood; it’s about improved mental health, strengthened self-concept, and enhanced resilience. It’s about becoming your own best friend, fostering healthy relationships, and extending compassion to others. It empowers better decision-making, stress management, and a genuine focus on self-care.

Remember, self-love isn’t a luxury; it’s a lifeline. It changes not just how you see yourself but also how you interact with the world. Embrace it, nurture it, and watch as it transforms your life in ways you never imagined. Here’s to the journey of self-love, a path that leads to the best version of you.

What are your ways to reach and cultivate self love?

Share your commitments and ideas in the comments below!

Check my YouTube for meditations:

Rise and Thrive on YouTube

How Self Love Changes Your Life For the Best

Oct 12. 2023