10 Things Men Love in Women That Will Actually Improve Your Life

Sep 28. 2023

Every individual is unique and has their own preferences. However, there are certain things that most men will appreciate, and these don’t need to be degrading to us women. Instead, they can make us feel empowered and good. Let’s dive into these qualities that men love in women, which can also enhance our lives and make us feel just right.

Table of Contents

The change is for you, not for men

Have you ever wondered why women around the world face similar challenges in dating and relationships with men? It’s because biologically, men and women worldwide share similar wiring in certain ways, leading to similar behaviour, patterns, and mechanisms.

We often hear what men appreciate in a woman, as if we should immediately jump in and change ourselves to be more appealing to more men. Well, it’s only natural we want to enhance our attractiveness in the dating market to compete for the best partners. However, there are limits, and we should always consider where our boundaries lie and avoid losing ourselves in the process.

Most of these things I hear that men like are, quite frankly, toxic and unattainable for most women, or simply sexist, undermining our confidence and love for ourselves. We often hear stuff that men like that don’t make us feel good. Be quiet and smile, have big breasts, don’t argue, don’t nag, wear high heels, do splits in the bedroom, clean the house naked, to name a few (I am being facetious with some of these examples, but you get my meaning).

Make sure that any changes you make in yourself are for your own benefit because they will make you feel better and improve your life and experiences. With that being said, most of the tips here are primarily intellectual. They should help not only in dating and relationships, but in your overall life, increasing your happiness and well-being.

Men are often misunderstood

Men and women are different. Biologically, on a chromosomal level, women have XX and men have XY. It means that while men exhibit a wider range of traits, we have a package that is then doubled. Yes, women can do everything that men can do, of course, but are we always the most efficient in certain things? In nature, nothing is redundant. We need each other because we have complementary roles that make all of us interdependent in society, and it’s not a bad thing.

In today’s dating and relationships world, we focus very much on differences, creating a division between the sexes. Phrases like “Women are always…”, “Men never…” etc. prevail. I would prefer that we focus on common values and goals, finding consensus for our future together, and only emphasise differences in an accepting and loving way.

Why don’t they understand?

We women often complain that men don’t seem to understand so many basic things. Basic for us, that is. Let me use a metaphor. Suppose you bought a bicycle. If you ride that bicycle, which has a specific way of working, but you use it incorrectly, by riding at an awkward angle, skewed, the bike will eventually break. Whose fault is this? The manufacturer’s? The bike’s? Or were you using it improperly, causing the components to wear out and break apart? If we approach men in a wrong way also, no wonder things don’t work out and we clash.

We don’t always understand men, their psych, and their needs. We don’t see the world the same way as they do. Sometimes we don’t really know which things men love in women. And then we complain that they don’t behave the way we want them to. I believe we need to make more effort to understand them and accept that this is how they operate and these are the components they are built with, and only expect from them what is both possible and comes natural to them. Just as we would hope they do with us.

It will make you feel good and empowered

Ultimately, the key to feeling good and empowered in a relationship is to prioritise your own well-being and personal growth, while also fostering mutual respect and communication.

Men may not admit it, but they love hearing the word “no.” They enjoy seeing you occupied with your interests and pursue you. All the changes you make to improve your life while still fostering a healthy relationship based on respect, will ultimately benefit both partners.

Building a relationship based on shared values and understanding can lead to mutual empowerment and happiness.

Here are 10 qualities and characteristics that many men may appreciate in women, which can also make women feel good and empowered:

1. Emotional Control

Healthy people in healthy relationships do not crave drama and butterflies. They seek stable, dependable relationships built on trust, common values, respect, and affection. Men desire peace from their partners above all else. When you control your emotions – you know that they are your responsibility, and it’s up to you to understand where they come from. Learn to communicate your boundaries with your partner. Also, learn to act out of position of love, not fear. Men appreciate women who control their emotions because it leads to greater stability and swift conflict resolution. It’s important to note that while emotional control is a desirable trait, it doesn’t mean that expressing emotions is a negative thing. Emotional expression and vulnerability are also essential components of healthy relationships. Just be aware of when you may be crossing the line and need to work on emotional regulation, for example, through journaling or therapy. Remember, there are no bad emotions! Each are a loving message from your brain.

2. Independence

Men often appreciate women who have their own interests, goals, ambitions, and independence. This self-sufficiency can be empowering, as it shows that a woman is capable of taking care of herself and spend the time alone. Men don’t want to feel like you depend on them for everything. While they are often happy to provide emotional or financial support, they cannot be your only source of fulfilment. It’s too much pressure and responsibility for anyone. Have your own hobbies, friends, ambitions and nurture all these instead of relying on your partner to entertain you at all times.

3. Self-care and Self-love

Taking care of your physical and mental health is super important. Looks make a lion’s share of our confidence, so find your personal skincare and haircare regiments, and style you feel good in. Men often appreciate women who prioritise self-care, as it demonstrates a commitment to overall well-being. At home, if mum isn’t happy, nobody is happy. While a healthy appearance can attract men, remember that you’re primarily doing it for yourself to feel good in your skin, and any interest from men is just a sweet bonus! Take care of your soothing morning routines and ensure your good mood in the morning. Some say that a man cannot love you more than you love yourself, so prioritise your self love too.

4. Intelligence

Being wise and well-read is extremely sexy. Women who value learning and intellectual activities can feel empowered by their ability to engage in meaningful conversations, strong connections and make informed decisions. And who doesn’t enjoy exchanging ideas in a stimulating conversation? Things men love in women include intelligent women and they often ask for advice. It doesn’t necessarily mean he will always follow your advice, but he clearly values your insights, which is a very good sign! Schedule some time to spend alone and take advantage of your full potential! Check out my recommended books also!

5. Tapping into Your Divine Feminine

Feminine woman who is nurturing, balanced and at peace are among things men love in women. It’s good to admit I don’t have to do everything myself and set aside time for self-care. Finding my softness and inner peace made me happier than ever. I feel like nowadays women are pressured to juggle numerous roles because we’ve been hardened by society. The world tells us we can have it all: a family, a boss babe career, side hustles, cooking gourmet dishes and maintaining that Instagram-worthy life. It comes with a price. We are in our masculine energy and we are exhausted.

Years of pursuing such a demanding lifestyle and doing everything myself made me tired, unpleasant to be around and on the edge. I developed a back injury which was my signal to stop and reevaluate my life. And being in my masculine energy was necessary in my 20s, when I was in make it or break it mode. It made me who I am today and for that I am grateful. But once I started living more in the present, letting go and moving more towards my feminine energy, I genuinely feel more like myself, authentic and finally in tune with myself.

6. Having Boundaries and Being Authentic

Being true to oneself is empowering. When women are authentic and genuine, it can attract those who value real connections and make them feel good about being true to who they are. As mentioned earlier, men actually appreciate it when a woman can say “no” because they enjoy a good challenge. Always prioritise yourself, and don’t bend over backward to change your plans to accommodate your date. Let him wait for his turn, and if he’s still around when you have time, he might be a genuine match. Don’t forget to work on your personal list of non-negotiables to know what to look for in a partner.

7. Peace and Kindness

Before we find a man who provides a peaceful life for us, we must create that peace within ourselves to know how it feels and know how to recognise it in a good relationship. Create space for peace, meditation and mindfulness in your life. Give yourself time to simply be in this fast-paced world. Go for walks in nature (making sure it’s safe to go alone) to absorb the tranquillity and greenery. Be kind to those you meet and offer help to others. Good karma often returns, especially if you believe in the concept of karma.

8. Being Submissive

As a former raging feminist, I feel the need to add some disclaimers here. I don’t believe every woman should submit to their men, as there are bad and wounded men out there. And they may take advantage of this. It’s about providing safety, not controlling a woman. A wise woman always takes care of herself and her business. She works on her own savings, ensuring financial independence. However, a wise woman also chooses a trustworthy man who genuinely cares about her happiness and is willing to provide for her because her well-being is really his well-being.

Choose a man you trust and are not afraid to outsource making decisions to him. Decision-making is exhausting so you can sit back and relax and have the peace and life you deserve. Many of us come from families, where there was no respect so we are determined to never repeat the same very bad patterns and we are right about it. Use your judgement and discernment here, but being with a wise and a good man and submitting to him makes him feel like a man and makes you feel like a princess. So, you choose but, please, consider who you choose very carefully and always have a good support system in place in case he doesn’t turn out to be who you thought he was! Use your good judgement and discernment.

9. Sense of Humour

A good sense of humour can be incredibly attractive. Sharing laughter and enjoying light-hearted moments can make both partners feel good and empowered in their connection. Especially in tense situations where conflict may arise, a well-timed joke to release the tension is the difference between a fight and a chance to defuse and reconnect, strengthening your bond. To quote Max Lucado: ‘Conflict is inevitable, combat is optional’.

10. Boosting His Confidence

Men thrive on external validation, particularly from their woman. They want to feel like a hero to you, someone who has helped you and made you happy. When their confidence is high, they are more willing to give and provide for you. So, it’s beneficial to notice positive aspects and actions of your man. When you give, you will receive back. Are you scared that an overly confident man might become arrogant? I used to think that, too. But over time I understood that it was just my own insecurity speaking. A good man, when confident and fulfilled, only gets better and more giving. Admitting you need his help is not something that will undermine you. True strength is being able to ask for help and realising you can do something yourself, sure you can, but maybe you don’t always have to do everything yourself.

Conclusion

It’s important to remember that the path to understanding and enhancing your relationships with men starts with valuing your own well-being and personal growth. While exploring the things men love in women, it’s crucial to strike a balance that doesn’t compromise your authenticity or self-respect. These qualities, such as emotional control, independence, self-care, intelligence, embracing your feminine energy, setting boundaries, promoting peace and kindness, and even a sense of humour, can indeed make you feel good and empowered.

Ultimately, building a relationship founded on shared values, mutual respect, and open communication can lead to a fulfilling and empowering connection for both partners. So, as you navigate the complexities of dating and relationships, remember that the changes you make should primarily be for your own benefit. It leads to personal growth, happiness, and a richer life experience. Embrace these qualities as tools for your own empowerment and well-being. Let them guide you towards meaningful and fulfilling relationships.

What are your other ideas you’ve noticed about the things men love in women?

Share your thoughts and commitments in the comments below ?

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