We women often show love through acts of service. However, this can lead to becoming people-pleasers, valuing ourselves only when we give to others. Placing yourself on a pedestal involves fostering self-respect, confidence, and a sense of self-worth. Let’s explore some tips on how to place yourself on a pedestal.
Realise Your Inherent Value
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you have an inherent worth and value, no matter who you are, what you have, what you have achieved, and how many people love you or consider you their friend.
Your value is in just existing, and based on that, you are worthy of love and you deserve everything you desire.
But most of all, you deserve your own love, attention and time!
We often search for fulfilment and love in others, and I’m sure every single one of us at one point in our lives needed to feel loved by another to feel good about ourselves. Why is that? It’s a form of external validation, something that fills us without much effort from our side. And that’s how love should be, effortless and unconditional.
However, we often forget to give this unconditional love to ourselves first. Being loveless cannot attract love because we attract what we are, not what we want. Unlimited acceptance of yourself is where self-love begins because this is when then change can occur in a healthy way.
If you think that you will love yourself once you look a certain way or are loved by someone you care about, or have something you desire, that is conditional and will only bring you more life lessons instead of lasting love. Self-love and self-acceptance are where we begin.
Give Yourself Everything
Be the one for yourself who will always have your back. Become your best friend. Do you want love? Give it to yourself. Do you want to be provided for? Give it to yourself first. Do you want to be someone’s dream girl? Become your own dream girl first. Again, we attract what we are, not what we want.
So start by realising that you deserve everything from yourself as well. We teach others how to love us and how to treat us by how we love and treat ourselves. And the first step will always be to give yourself that princess treatment before you can recognise it from others and accept it with gratitude.
Here’s the thing: depending on your background, if you have never received princess treatment before, it will be very difficult for you to accept it, especially if your past has been more about masculine energy. For us former tomboys, accepting acts of service and gifts feel odd and unnatural, because we didn’t receive much of it in our lives. Maybe you’ve always thought that people accept you in their lives because you do things for them.
But you deserve to be loved for simply existing. You don’t have to do anything for anyone to deserve something. And this realisation is step one in accepting gifts, attention, and princess treatment from others. Knowing that receiving is okay and is what you actually deep down want. Step two is to give it to yourself first.
Why Is It Important?
On this blog and my YouTube channel, we choose the following approach: I am responsible for my own emotions, problems, and healing. We take responsibility for how we feel about certain things and we never judge what we feel. We simply treat it as information and a loving signal from the brain. Because no emotion is inherently bad.
Nobody will ever put you on a pedestal and prioritize you if you don’t start by doing the same for yourself. Knowing how to place yourself on a pedestal is crucial because it all starts with you.
This approach not only puts you in control of your life a bit more than when we depend on others for love, validation, and happiness, but it also helps you understand that men value what you put your effort into.
If you put your effort into him, he will see himself as valuable, and his confidence will grow, shifting the dynamic. This is why, very often, women who give a chance to a less attractive man suddenly find themselves in a situation where the man behaves as if he forgot that he is out of her league. Instead, focus on yourself. Not only will you get your energy back and improve yourself, but he will also value you more.
Remember, energy flows where attention goes, and what you focus on grows. Don’t let the world tell you it’s selfish. It is not. So always focus your energy on yourself, your dreams, and your goals, whatever they may be. Be the source of love and give it to yourself and bestow it onto others, instead of giving all you have away and taking the scraps for yourself.
How to Place Yourself on a Pedestal
Regulate Your Emotions and Thoughts
Set strong boundaries with yourself and others to create space in your life for observing your thoughts and emotions. When you understand what is going on within you, it’s no longer against you. Befriend your thoughts and emotions and use them as information to improve your awareness. Those who regulate themselves are the ones who can also give to themselves, without relying on others when it comes to such important issues as love, fulfilment, and happiness. Give it to yourself and start with self-observation.
Sit With Yourself
Your life is about one thing only: finding who you are, what you want, embodying this version of yourself, and enjoying the heck out of it. Our desires are what make us change and expand. But you don’t realise what you truly want until you implement a daily practice of meditation and self-observation. We often numb ourselves with entertainment, substances, and company at all times instead of facing our emotions, postponing the very thing that helps us get to know who we really are and what we truly want. Start meditating for only 5 minutes a day and increase it over time. Be aware of your thoughts but don’t feed them with your reaction. Be aware of what’s going on within your body and notice the sensations. Ask yourself daily, how are you?
Check Your Phone at Specific Times Only
Remain focused by setting specific times when you can check your notifications or turn them off altogether. Knowing how to place yourself on a pedestal involves owning your time and attention and only being available when it’s needed. If you have a habit of checking your phone constantly, set times during the day when you can look at your notifications, because we all know this stems from anxiety and the unfulfilled needs. Over time, you will better control where your energy goes. I also recommend going offline in the first 1–2 hours after waking up to remain grounded instead of losing your attention to this chaotic world (here’s how you can start your day). Get rid of FOMO with self-discipline. You can do this!
Schedule a Weekly Maintenance Block
If you think you have no time for self-care, then you must schedule it like anything else in your agenda. Have a fixed skincare, haircare, and self-care routine. Put it into your calendar and show up as you would for a meeting with your lover. Prioritise yourself and fill your own self-love tank first. Do it as often as you see fit. I like to have a maintenance block every Sunday afternoon, where I take an everything shower™, treat myself to a face and hair mask, take care of my nails, and just enjoy myself with my favourite tea and show.
Affirm Positively
You can place yourself on a pedestal with positive self-talk and affirmations. Affirmations are just thoughts we repeat about our lives, ourselves, and our relationships with others. What kind of self-talk do you notice during the day? Try to observe it, and if a negative self-talk or thought appears, overwrite it with something positive straight away and do it with conviction. What we assume is ultimately what we experience. So always assume the best, knowing that you’re worthy of anything you desire. The repetition dissolves doubt. Find meditations with affirmations on my channel. You can order custom positive affirmations for your specific situation here.
Set Your Standards High
Become the high-value woman you would admire. We project our self-perceived value to the world. If your company is expensive to obtain and you don’t spend your time and energy on people who don’t add to your life in some way, you need to change that. Read here how to set your standards high to put yourself on a pedestal.
Adopt the Mindset: “Anything For You Princess”
When you truly love yourself, especially in a relationship, ask yourself every day: what can I do to make myself feel better? And then just do it. It can be something small, like getting a coffee to go, taking a nap, putting on a dress, or spraying yourself with a perfume. Whatever it is, spoil yourself. Do the best for yourself and give yourself princess treatment because once you do, you will know how it feels and never accept anything less than that from men and friends.
Read here ideas for solo dating and why dating yourself is such a great idea.
Conclusion
We explored how to place yourself on a pedestal. In a world that often demands more from us than we can give, placing yourself on a pedestal is not just a luxury—it’s a necessity. By recognising your inherent value and committing to self-care practices, you foster a deep sense of self-worth that enables you to live authentically and confidently. Each tip shared here is a step toward nurturing your self-respect and independence, helping you to create a fulfilling life that reflects your true desires.
Remember, self-love and self-care are ongoing journeys, not destinations. As you incorporate these practices into your life, you’ll find that prioritising yourself allows you to approach relationships and responsibilities from a place of abundance rather than scarcity. By loving yourself first, you set the standard for how you deserve to be treated by others. Embrace this path, and watch as your life transforms, reflecting the high standards and respect you hold for yourself. Always remember to place yourself on a pedestal first.
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