Challenges will always happen to you. This is what life is – ups and downs, grieve and joy, good times and bad times. But in all life’s suffering, we can then appreciate what we have better and we become resilient. In this blog post I will show you why hardships are a powerful catalyst for positive things in your life through the benefits of post-traumatic growth.

Personal Growth Stasis

Personal growth stasis means when someone stops growing or changing. This happens when a person becomes too comfortable and doesn’t want to try new things. It’s like being stuck and not moving forward. People might feel bored and not happy because they’re not learning or doing new stuff.

When someone is in a personal growth stasis, they keep doing the same things and don’t want to try different things. They might be scared to fail or just don’t want to make an effort. But, to get out of this state, they need to think about what’s stopping them and try new things. It’s like getting out of a rut, finding new goals, and learning from mistakes.

Getting better and growing as a person is a long journey. It means being brave, trying new things, and not being afraid of changes. Moreover, learning from mistakes and always trying to be better are important steps to keep growing.

I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. When life is so comfy and warm that nothing really presses you to improve anything. It’s just OK the way it is. Or is it? It’s hard to motivate yourself for a change and get these benefits of post traumatic growth but without prior suffering from trauma.

What is Post Traumatic Growth?

Post-traumatic growth (PTG) is a theory that refers to the positive psychological changes that some individuals experience following a traumatic event or a period of intense stress. Unlike post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which involves negative symptoms and distressing experiences after trauma, PTG refers to the positive transformations and personal growth that can occur as a result of the struggle with a major life crisis or a traumatic event.

PTG often occurs in individuals who have a high level of psychological resilience. Resilience is the ability to adapt and bounce back from challenging situations, and it plays a crucial role in PTG.

People develop new coping mechanisms and strategies in response to trauma. In fact, these new ways of coping can lead to increased emotional strength and personal growth.

Going through trauma often forces individuals to confront their own vulnerabilities and limitations. This self-awareness can lead to personal growth as they work to overcome these challenges.

Knowing how life-changing the potential of this growth is, I am no longer as fearful as I once was about meeting new people and dating in my pursuit of finding my person (or rather waiting for him to find me).

My Experience

I will share with you my personal experience with post-traumatic growth. Without going too much into details, I had a health concern for years – a lower back pain issue that started and accelerated at the beginning of the pandemic.

The uncertainty, sitting at home, fear of not being able to move (maybe even loosing this ability forever?), lack of social interactions and prolonged sitting and working at home all contributed to my prolonged struggles with my lower back. I was a very active person, so to me it was bizarre I would be grounded and unable to move without pain for months at the time. In my mind I would still come back to the times when I cycled over 130 km in one day and was asking myself – why is this happening to me?

I would be OK for a while and then, a few months later, it would come back again. It was going on for over three years, from one physiotherapist to another and nobody seemed to have an idea how to help me. The last time it came back was the worst and I experienced very strong pain for months. Just after a couple of steps the pain would appear and I wasn’t able to go for a walk or go down the stairs without a blinding nerve pain.

Recovery on the Horizon

A few months later, when I was coming back to my normal life slowly, I went through a breakup. Surprisingly, the breakup even more so than the back pain caused a post-traumatic growth in me. It’s not as traumatic of an event, but break ups are one of the hardest things we go through in life.

I started the proper healing, went to therapy and sorted out my emotional regulation issues. Then I started this blog, prioritised myself and flourished like I‘ve never flourished before. Talking about benefits of post traumatic growth!

I can’t remember ever being more self-compassionate, understanding and gentler with myself than I was after all this happened. I engaged in positive self-talk, forgave myself for the lost time, looked at my life with so much appreciation and gratitude – I can go for walks, hikes, bike rides PAIN FREE. How amazing is that!

These experiences changed me forever and I will forever be grateful. What a wonderful journey and I am genuinely grateful for my pain and my breakup – all those things I learned from it were worth it. Moreover, I know it all had to happen for me to become a better version of myself. And I know it will get better from here, even with a challenge and a setback here and there – I am ready!

Read more about the 11 lessons I learned from my past relationships part 1 and also part 2.

The Good and the Bad

Starting with the bad – something very distressing has to happen to you first to experience this interesting phenomenon. It’s also important to note that not everyone who undergoes trauma will experience post-traumatic growth, and the process can be challenging and complex. PTG does not negate the difficulties and pain associated with the traumatic experience; instead, it represents the positive changes that can emerge from the struggle to cope with and make sense of the trauma.

Many of us go through break ups anyway, so let’s move on to the good. The positive aspects include the many benefits and the catalyst for change it can be:

1. Gratitude and Appreciation

Going through hardships can contribute to a greater appreciation of what you have. We often overlook what is around us, taking it for granted. A traumatic life event can increase the sense of gratitude for life and a deeper understanding of its value after experiencing trauma. We very often take things for granted and once we lose them for a while and then get it back – we will never forget this experience and appreciate them more.

2. Improved Relationships

Some people report improved relationships with others, often characterised by increased empathy, compassion, and emotional intimacy. Once you learn to forgive yourself and understand that sometimes the smallest thing can destroy your good mood, you become more empathetic towards others, applying the same logic to them. By adopting more positive self-talk, I also refrain from criticising others, knowing how damaging it can be to a person’s ego. I try to phrase my feedback in an SBI manner (Situation – Behaviour – Impact) to minimise the chance of someone taking things too personally. Because literally, everyone does.

3. Personal Strength

Surviving trauma can lead to a greater sense of personal strength and resilience, allowing individuals to face future challenges with enhanced coping skills. Even though PTG and resilience are different, it can influence the increase in resilience. It leads to better dealing with challenges and setbacks in life. Additionally, we start to understand that suffering is a part of life experience and it will never be without it. We begin to recognise that life happens for us, not to us.

4. New Possibilities

Trauma or strong stress survivors recognise opportunities where they might not have seen them before. You may develop a more positive outlook on life. To me personally, it emerged in adopting a ‘lucky girl syndrome’ belief. I started to believe I am a lucky girl and the universe conspires for me to succeed. And I see it everyday, in things both small and large.

5. Spiritual Growth

Some people experience a deepening of their spiritual beliefs or a stronger connection to their faith as a result of their struggle with trauma. They recognise the new chance given and find solace in the divine.

6. Self-Discovery

Trauma can lead to greater self-awareness and self-discovery, prompting a person to reevaluate their priorities, goals, and values. Self-reflection leads to getting to know yourself better, what truly matters to you and knowing what you really want. It’s a very empowering process.

How to Overcome the Stasis Without the Trauma

Trauma is a serious thing and can backfire, so of course, we won’t put ourselves through trauma just to get to the benefits. How, then, can we experience the benefits of post-traumatic growth without going through trauma?

Looking at the list of things I share here, you will understand why trauma can induce this growth. It prompts us to shift our perception of the world and ourselves organically. For instance, cultivating gratitude and enhancing our bravery, allowing us to step outside our comfort zone more easily.

We have to try and create these things for ourselves instead!

Start by Changing Your Programming

The self-perception is very important. If you believe you are not capable of certain things, you probably won’t try them. Change the way you see yourself and empower yourself. For the motivation to last, it has to come from within and shine there and fuel you constantly. Here is how you can start:

• Celebrate small wins – in your journal, write every day two small victories of the day. You planned to wake up early and you made it! Win! You ate a healthy salad for lunch! Win! You finished a book! Win! Win! Win!
• Notice negative self-talk that is limiting you – observe how you talk to yourself during the day. When you see someone working out outside on your way to work, do you think “Oh wow, she’s so strong. I could never exercise in the morning” – this would be your limiting, negative self-talk. Change it to “Oh wow, she is very strong and I am, too. I can wake up in the morning to exercise”. 
• Write a list of negative self-talk programs you wish to change – write down what is limiting you to become more aware of these things.
• Start positive self-talk – write down a list of your new positive self-talk, things you wish you were doing and remember to phrase them in the present tense, as if it’s already happening. Writing down your goals can significantly increase your chances of achieving them, as it provides clarity and motivation. Setting clear, written goals allows you to stay focused and track your progress, making it more likely that you will work towards achieving them.

Set Small Goals

Start by setting achievable goals for yourself. These goals should be slightly challenging but not overwhelming. It could be learning a new recipe, picking up a new hobby, or reading a certain number of books (or pages).

Wake up an Hour Earlier for Productivity

Go to bed a bit earlier and do something productive before work. It will make you feel empowered, that before you reach your work, you already have 1 hour of productivity behind you, while others are barely waking up by 9-10 am and cannot say a word without having coffee first.

Adopt the Growth Mindset

Embrace a mindset of continuous learning. Take up online courses, attend workshops, or read articles and books on topics that interest you. Learning keeps your mind active and open to new ideas.

Practice Mindfulness

Meditate and be mindful of what is happening in the moment. Create space for self-reflection, because this is where you can slow down and ponder about what you really want. Seeing there’s plenty of space in your life for change is very powerful, because people generally don’t change their behaviour if they tell themselves they have no time for anything new.

Expand Your Comfort Zone

Do something new as often as you can. Regularly do things that make you slightly uncomfortable. It could be striking up a conversation with a stranger, giving a presentation, or trying a new sport. Gradually, these activities will become less intimidating, expanding your comfort zone.

Cultivate Gratitude

Focus on the positive aspects of your life. Being grateful for what you have can shift your perspective and open your mind to new possibilities.

Connect with Different People

Interacting with people from diverse backgrounds can broaden your horizons. It exposes you to different viewpoints and ways of thinking, counter-acting the confirmation bias. Connecting with other people, even if just for a brief smile while you walk, is a fantastic mood-booster. Everyday try to connect with someone and share your positivity, it will come back.

Stay Curious

Cultivate curiosity about the world around you. Ask questions, explore new places, and engage in discussions. Curiosity keeps your mind active and receptive to new information.

Conclusion

We discussed the power and benefits of post traumatic growth – what it can do to us if life throws at us its hardships and challenges. We now know how to overcome the personal growth stasis and be on our way to self-development.

Life has many challenges. These tough times can make us stronger and wiser. Moreover, we learn to appreciate what we have and find our inner strength. Personal growth, which usually comes after hard times, can also happen when we make small changes in how we think. We can celebrate little victories, stay curious, and be grateful for what we have.

By trying new things and being mindful, we can become better versions of ourselves. Remember, change starts inside us. With each small step, we grow stronger and more resilient. We strive to enjoy effect similar to what benefits of post traumatic growth are, but without going through actual trauma. Believe in yourself – you can do it!

What are your ways to deal with stasis?

Share your commitments and ideas in the comments below!

Recommended next post to read:

HOW TO BEST SPEND TIME ALONE

HOW TO NOT FEEL ALONE EVER AGAIN AND BE HAPPY

WHY IT’S AMAZING TO BE SELECTIVE ABOUT A PARTNER

Check my YouTube for meditations:

Rise and Thrive on YouTube