Getting good at breaking up is and never should be anybody’s goal. However, it’s a “skill” that you need to have if you date people. It’s like if you like travelling, you have to be good at coming back home too – dealing with emotions, uncomfortable feelings of coming back to reality and starting over again and preparing for a future trip. Let’s explore the tips on how to break up with grace.
Breakup Doesn’t Determine the Success of a Relationship
I used to think that a relationship to be successful has to last forever. If people break up, I would think – oh gosh, another failed relationship and a death of love. But is it really so?
If you knew you were going to die, would you not have lived? If your relationships end, does it mean you never loved?
Just because the relationship ended, it doesn’t mean it was a waste of time. You might have learned about yourself, your wants and desires, you practised communication and you loved – there were moments of happiness.
I no longer look at my past relationships as a failure. I release all regrets. I recognise the lessons learned from my exes and I wish them well. Where and who I am today wouldn’t be the same without them. I appreciate their insights, their help and improvements, their good and bad habits introduced to my life. Each of them lives within me now and I make an effort to love each side of myself.
Fear of Rejection
We have an inane fear of rejection because in our caveman times, we knew that rejection from the tribe meant becoming an outcast, equating to a certain death. Even if this is not the case anymore in our modern times, it still activates the same inherent fear in us. Even if these are just theories, emotions and responses to rejection are complex and influenced by individual differences, cultural factors, and personal histories. In other words – complex and very unpleasant on an individual level.
Losing a partner touches our very core and ego. We’ve been rejected, and our ego is hurt and feels threatened and your brain will fight to find out what was possibly done wrong to avoid this situation in the future.
Understanding the roots of this fear is the first step to breaking free from its grip. In the context of a breakup, it’s essential to recognise that it doesn’t define your worth. Rejection doesn’t diminish your value as a person. Instead, it’s a natural part of the human experience, a redirection toward growth and self-discovery.
The High Value Woman Art of Breaking Up
A high value woman doesn’t break up – she walks away. She understands her worth and naturally gravitates towards places that appreciate her value. The sooner she realises that someone doesn’t value her, the less time she wastes.
Acknowledging the fear associated with rejection and reframing it as an opportunity for personal evolution, you can approach breakups with grace. Remember, it’s not a verdict on your entire being but a transformative phase in the intricate tapestry of your life. In the following sections, we’ll delve into ways to navigate a breakup with empathy, understanding, and, most importantly, how to break up with grace.
To read more about first steps after the breakup, read How to Heal from a Breakup.
Accept His “No”
Accept his “no”, say “Okay, I trust you know what’s best for you”, and if you need to, go and cry and process your emotions. If a man isn’t into you, it’s his loss. Your man will not be hot and cold like this, and he will fear losing you if he plays games like that. We are not here to beg people to want us in their life. Your time is valuable, and you know what a gift it is. How to break up with grace starts with accepting others’ decisions.
Walk Away
Some men may not initiate a breakup with you but will exhibit behaviours suggesting a loss of attraction and won’t have the guts to break up with you. They wait for you to end it, gradually losing respect as you tolerate worsening treatment. At some point, you find the strength to walk away. Sometimes, a woman has to walk away for a guy to realise what he had. It’s the most difficult thing to do to leave someone you love but remember, you’re walking away from a shell of a relationship, not an actual one at this point.
Read more about how to detach and enter unbothered girl era.
Know Your Worth
We teach others how to love and treat us by how we treat and love ourselves. Know your worth, prioritise yourself and never put a man first. Remember, a man who values you would never let the amazing you go. So, if he’s ignorant enough to let go of you, it’s his loss. He may have been a good man, but he was broken, and it’s not your job to fix him; he’s an adult person and should deal with his problems and issues on his own. He’s not a project for you, you are your most important project. Learn more about how to be a more confident woman.
No Contact
You need this time away from him to initiate the healing after the breakup. No settling for friendship or anything like that; it will only gradually phase you out of his life and inadvertently aid him in getting over you. Besides, you don’t require a constant reminder of your loss. No contact is essential for you to process what happened, heal, and emerge from it as a better person. It’s also going to be the nail in the coffin for him to feel the consequences of his decision. If people don’t want to be in your life on your terms then there’s no cheap access to you – being in your life is a privilege.
The ‘Let Them’ Theory
The “let them” idea in a breakup is all about letting people make their own choices. It’s about respecting that everyone has their own feelings and decisions to make, even if it means the relationship comes to an end. Instead of trying to control or change someone’s mind, the “let them” theory suggests giving them the space to figure things out for themselves. In a breakup, it means understanding that both people have the right to decide what’s best for them and their own growth. It’s about being kind and understanding, knowing that each person has their own reasons for moving on and that’s how you break up with grace.
Focus on Your Growth – Level Up
In no contact you will fully process your emotions and emerge with a hunger for self-improvement. It’s my favourite thing about breakups – this post-traumatic growth, because breakups are a bit of traumatic events. From that you start growing and coming up with ideas to improve your life or even focus on your dreams, like travels, businesses or future visions. Focus on yourself, improve habits, skincare, and social schedule, becoming your own dream girl.
Never Ask “Why” or Plead
If they decided to break up, trust them that it wasn’t sudden. It was on their mind for weeks or months already, so save your face and never ask why or beg to reconsider. Their mind is made up and there’s nothing you can do. Accept their answer with grace, say “okay”. It’s classy and they will never expect that and it will cut them off guard. And you can walk away without regretting your behaviour in the future.
You Don’t Need Closure
So often people imagine that you need closure – that last conversation when everything starts to be clear and it’s easier to move on, some explanation from the person who broke up with us. In reality, the closure is something that we give ourselves. Imagine thinking that the key to rebuilding yourself is in the hands of a person who broke you in the first place. So, take ownership and find the closure within you, for example by understanding they didn’t see your worth – such a turn off. You take your value elsewhere and that’s how you break up with grace.
Forget About Revenge
Seeking revenge is petty. People have every right to make their own decisions. Even if you don’t agree with them, there’s nothing you can do to change that. This is why I don’t advocate for revenge or even closure seeking. If you want them to regret their decision, the best thing you can do is to focus on yourself, level up and glow up. You know what they say: Success is the best revenge.
Realisations After a Breakup
Sometimes we need a reminder that a breakup is the universe’s way of clearing the path for someone meant for you. Everyone we meet teaches us something that prepares us for what’s to come. The universe will send the same lesson until it sinks in and we learn that lesson.
Everything happens for a reason and remember: he lost someone that loved him; you lost someone who didn’t. Even if you’re the one hurting the most, it’s most certainly his big loss. Hope that you will find comfort in it
Discover more reminders after a breakup we all need.
Conclusion
Mastering the art of breaking up becomes a necessary skill in navigating relationships. The tips shared here guide on how to break up with grace, emphasising self-worth, empathy, and personal growth. Recognizing that the duration of a relationship doesn’t determine success, releasing regrets, and appreciating lessons learned from past relationships are powerful steps toward personal evolution.
The fear of rejection, rooted in primal instincts, should be reframed as an opportunity for growth. A high-value woman walks away, understanding her worth. Embracing the ‘let them’ theory, focusing on personal growth, and letting go of closure or revenge navigate the post-breakup journey with grace.
A breakup isn’t a verdict on worth but a transformative phase. Moving forward, find comfort in the realisation that letting go creates space for someone who truly appreciates and deserves the love you offer.
What else do you do to break up with grace as a high value woman? 🙂
Share your commitments and ideas in the comments below!
Recommended next post to read:
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