An Emotional Education is a profound and enlightening journey into the intricacies of human emotions, artfully blending psychology, philosophy, and literature to offer readers invaluable insights into understanding and navigating the complexities of our inner selves.

Moreover, with eloquent prose and thought-provoking reflections, de Botton imparts timeless wisdom and practical advice, making this book a powerful guide to emotional intelligence and personal growth.

Through looking into ourselves and our emotions, we can understand ourselves better.

Key takeaways:

• Philosophy offers us so much to learn from; philosophers basically figured out the formula for happiness and I am here to discover more on it.
• Self-awareness and understanding my own emotions is a game-changer on the way to a happier life.
• My happiness is in my hands – nobody promised me anything. I cannot expect too much from others. Instead, I find gratitude, for instance for the time they spend with me.
• I am more inspired now to be more compassionate towards myself and others, to foster healthier relationships and deeper connections.
• We are complex creatures with many talents, trapped in the modern economic society that shaped us into an efficient part of the big machine, dooming us into repeating the same tasks at work instead of being able to discover those many talents. We can find solace in this realisation.

Have you ever thought… …about your thoughts? Do you have a bias toward the negative? Understanding how negative feelings and emotions work is the first step. Then we must learn how to reprogram those emotions and turn them around. In short, a happier life is possible if you follow the steps.

“Master Your Emotions” is a transformative guide, aimed at helping readers navigate the complex landscape of their emotions with wisdom and self-awareness. Through this empowering book, Meurisse equips readers with practical techniques and insights to understand, harness, and ultimately gain control over their emotional responses.

This book is one of the Best Books for Emotional Control for Women because it makes us see how emotions change, like weather. So there’s no need to fixate over them.

Key takeaways:

• I embrace my emotions without judgement. All of them.
• Mindfulness is a great tool in increasing my self-awareness and understanding my emotions
• Thoughts create our emotions, so I have some control over them by controlling what I think about
• Challenges happen and will always happen in life. However, we can learn to deal with them and grow from it
• Negativity does not serve me and I need to practise to decrease its effect on my mood and life

This book is not specifically focused on emotional control, but it had a significant impact on me in this regard. We often think that we can change somebody when we don’t like something about them. Especially in our romantic partners. But do you like when someone tells you what to do? When and how to change? Would you like to be changed by someone against your will just because someone needs you to?

Probably not. Relationships thrive on acceptance and this book shows you how to get there and how much power there is in taking responsibility for your own actions, emotions and happiness.

This book will help you to connect or reconnect with your partner for a lasting and loving relationship where you both feel understood and loved for who you really are. It will teach you how to be a team.

Key takeaways:

• I am responsible for my happiness, emotions and actions
• It’s OK to not always be 50/50, sometimes we have to give more to help our partner
• I have a right to every emotion I experience, but I am not entitled to every reaction I have due to them
• if I suffer more, I should be the one to take action, not waiting for the other person to change
• I can only influence myself; others are beyond my control
• Relationship can be saved if we come from the position of love and not fear or entitlement

This book delves into the realm of adult attachment style theory. It sheds light on how our attachment styles influence our romantic relationships. Drawing upon extensive research in psychology, neuroscience, and relationship dynamics, the authors introduce readers to three primary attachment styles: anxious, avoidant, and secure.

Above all, the book offers valuable insights for individuals seeking to understand their own attachment style and how it impacts their dating and relationship experiences. It helps the readers identify their attachment style. Moreover, it also provides practical advice on building healthier and more fulfilling connections.

This book will open your eyes to your own attachment and will help to see your patterns in romantic relationships. After reading this, you will understand your behaviour and the behaviour of your exes. In other words, it will help you build new healthy relationships. And improve the existing ones.

Key takeaways:

• My attachment style has been with me since very early childhood and it served me at the time
• My current attachment style does not help me now and it’s time to abandon the pattern
• I can train myself and get to the secure attachment by behaving like a securely attached person
• My attachment style has a profound impact on all my relationships, even at work
• There is huge power in detachment
• Sometimes my emotions come from within me and I don’t understand them. Now I know it might be my anxiety coming from early childhood

This book explores the impact of emotionally immature parents on their adult children and offers guidance on how to heal from the resulting emotional wounds. It defines emotional immaturity in parents as the inability to recognise, manage, and respond to their own emotions and the emotions of their children. Such parents often struggle with empathy, self-awareness, and healthy communication.

Adults raised by emotionally immature parents often experience emotional neglect, low self-esteem, difficulties in forming relationships, and a lack of emotional boundaries. These issues can persist into adulthood, affecting various aspects of their lives.

The book offers valuable insights and practical strategies for individuals looking to overcome the challenges resulting from growing up with emotionally immature parents. It provides a road map for healing, self-discovery, and building fulfilling, healthy relationships as adults.

Key takeaways:

• I am a product of behaviours and emotional regulation of my parents, but this doesn’t define me as a person.
• I can heal myself by recognising these patterns; it is the first step toward understanding the root causes of emotional struggles.
• Boundaries are my first line of protection and I have to learn to say no.
• I need nurture my inner child and develop a sense of self-worth independent of my parents’ validation.
• I am the one that has to break the cycle emotional immaturity by developing emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and empathy

This is the only position on this list that is not a psychology book, but rather a philosophical guide into a content life. It encourages us to release the need to control everything but rather accept the reality and agree with it. It made it to my list of the Best Books for Emotional Control for Women, because it shifts our self-centered focus from problems to the wider perspective. It’s very healing for me.

“Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius is a collection of personal writings and philosophical reflections by the Roman Emperor, offering insights into Stoic philosophy and the nature of life. Written as a series of notes to himself, the book explores themes such as self-discipline, virtue, and the importance of living in accordance with nature. Aurelius reflects on the transitory nature of life, the significance of embracing challenges, and the importance of maintaining inner tranquillity despite external circumstances.

Key takeaways:

• The key to a fulfilling and meaningful life are wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance.
• I need to accept the natural order of the universe. Accepting things beyond my control and focusing on my reactions and attitudes.
• I now appreciate the present moment and understand the temporary nature of all things can lead to a more content existence.
• I can achieve freedom and peace of mind by working on my self-discipline and self-control.
• Mindfulness and meditation can lead me to better emotional control and decision-making.
• I have a duty to society to serve others selflessly; it gives a greater sense of purpose and fulfilment.

This self-help classic written by Shad Helmstetter delves into the profound impact of our inner dialogue on our lives. In this book, Helmstetter emphasizes the idea that our self-talk.Tthe conversations we have with ourselves in our minds, plays a pivotal role in shaping our attitudes, behaviors, and overall life outcomes.

The book begins by shedding light on the negative and self-destructive nature of many people’s inner dialogue. It highlights how these internal dialogues can undermine self-esteem, hinder personal growth, and perpetuate self-doubt. Helmstetter then introduces the concept of “self-talk scripts”. Then, he explains how we can rewrite and reprogram our inner dialogue to be more positive, empowering, and aligned with our goals. He provides practical techniques and exercises to help readers identify and replace negative self-talk patterns with positive affirmations, thereby unlocking their full potential.

This book is my pick for the Best Books for Emotional Control for Women, because I believe that lots of our problems start and end in our minds and we can influence it by starting the positive self-talk.

Key takeaways:

• I can reprogram my subconscious mind to erase the negative programming I received in childhood
• With positive phrases I can change any behaviour I desire
• There is power in repetitions of positive self-talk phrases, so repeat them as often as you can
• I can correct my self-talk as I go and learn with time
• Scripting and journaling my positive affirmations is great, as good as meditations with affirmations
• Motivation has to come from within, so no coach giving an hour presentation will help in the long run. Find a motivation in yourself instead

“Rising Strong” by Brené Brown explores the concept of resilience and the process of getting back up after experiencing failure, disappointment, or heartbreak. Brown delves into the emotional and psychological aspects of how individuals can harness their struggles as opportunities for personal growth and transformation.

Key takeaways:

• Being vulnerable, acknowledging our fears and uncertainties, is crucial for personal development and building genuine connections with others.
• Embracing my imperfections and being willing to take risks fosters creativity.
• Empathy involves connecting with others on a deep emotional level, understanding their experiences, and offering support without judgement.
• I should let go of perfectionism, it does not serve anybody and can stop me from starting new things.
• I learn from my failures; after failure I can engage myself in self-reflection and learn from it.

This book focuses on healing emotional wounds and developing a healthier self-esteem. The book delves into the impact of childhood experiences on adult emotional well-being, addressing issues such as self-criticism, low self-esteem, and shame.

It emphasises the importance of self-compassion and offers practical techniques to overcome self-criticism. Through real-life examples and exercises, the book provides tools to build self-esteem, heal emotional pain, and develop healthier relationships.

Key takeaways:

• We all have emotional wounds from childhood; it’s time to address them!
• Self-compassion is a way to silence my inner critic.
• I have an inherent value and worth. I just need to see it.
• My healing is first step towards fulfilling relationships.

In “Feeling Good,” Dr. Burns presents practical tools to identify and challenge distorted thinking, which often leads to feelings of depression and anxiety. Through relatable case studies and real-life examples, readers learn how to recognise negative thought patterns, such as all-or-nothing thinking, self-criticism, and catastrophic. The book provides step-by-step guidance on how to re-frame these thoughts, leading to improved emotional resilience and a more positive outlook on life.

Key takeaways:

• The connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviours is very powerful; I need to learn to identify and challenge negative thought patterns.
• I should go and move my body even if I don’t feel like it; it’s one of the most important factors to my mood. Same goes for sleep and nutrition.
• Taking action, even small steps, is emphasised as a powerful way to combat depression. Even minor tasks matter!
• It’s a good idea to keep daily mood journal; I can identify patterns and understand my emotional triggers

“Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie is a seminal self-help book that explores the concept of codependency and provides practical guidance on breaking free from codependent patterns. Codependency is a psychological and emotional condition that often involves putting others’ needs and emotions above one’s own, leading to unhealthy relationships and personal dissatisfaction. Through personal stories, practical advice, and exercises, Beattie helps readers recognise codependent behaviours, understand their root causes, and develop healthier ways of relating to themselves and others.

Key takeaways:

• I need to gain higher self-awareness of my codependent behaviours.
• I have to establish and maintain healthy boundaries with myself and others.
• I need to detach to take care of my own emotional well-being; I need to prioritise myself
• I need to forgive myself and others; it is a gift to myself to get rid of the nasty resentment and free myself
• Rediscovering personal interests, hobbies, and passions independent of others’ expectations is my ticket to autonomy.