With the fairy lights, Christmas songs and festive mood, there comes the dark side of it all for some people as well. It’s okay to feel lonely at this time and there’s no point in denying these feelings. As I often feel lonely around Christmas myself, I’d like to share some of my tips to survive this time. Let’s dive into ways how to cope with loneliness around Christmas.
The Magic of Christmas
I used to be a total Scrooge, but over time, I learned to appreciate the festivities. Maybe it’s an ageing thing, but now I enjoy the Christmas music, cosy atmosphere and cooking for Christmas dinner, even though it often turns into a family argument (my mum yelling that there’s not enough space in the kitchen and that she won’t have everything ready on time, sigh).
The more I think about the positive aspects of Christmas, the more positively I feel about it.
I know it’s the time of over-consumption while our planet deteriorates, not so slowly. However, spending Christmas that way wasn’t joyful for me – surprise surprise.
What I’ve learned is this: we can take any situation, even a negative one, and we can focus on the bad stuff, or we can look into it, knowing we have no control over it and cannot change it, and take what we like and focus on that. I choose the latter.
The Time of Recaps
The end of the calendar year symbolises closure and a fresh start.
Part of why this time of the year tends to be tough on us is the fact that most social media platforms focus on summarising the year and bragging about what people have done. It makes us feel like we’re behind everybody else.
It’s difficult not to compare yourself if all you did was survive, literally.
People, voluntarily or not, reflect on the year and life summaries – what I have, what I failed to do. This is challenging, especially for singles. Maybe every New Year’s Eve, you promise yourself – this year will be THE YEAR I meet my man. And here you are, single again. It’s a crushing feeling, no matter how strong you are.
It’s a time of regrets and things we wanted to do but didn’t poke us in our sides. The “I love you”s we I meant to say but didn’t, burned stronger than before.
It’s hardly surprising since cultural and social expectations emphasise spending time with loved ones, fostering a sense of connection and reflection on relationships. When people assess the past year, this reflection can lead to feelings of nostalgia and contemplation.
And the relationship goals all over social media don’t exactly help how to cope with loneliness around Christmas.
Take Back Your Control
Sometimes, we believe that emotions control us, but I’d like to empower you so that you know you have more power here than you think.
Our thoughts create our emotions, and we might need to make a bit of a conscious effort to seed our mind with positivity to feel better and not give the negative thoughts too much attention.
To survive this time, remember these reminders to enhance these tips how to cope with loneliness around Christmas:
- Our thoughts create our emotions. Focus on the romantic atmosphere as it is, something to soak in and cherish once a year, without assigning it any emotional meaning.
- If you have a negative spiral of emotions, try to just acknowledge these feelings and tell yourself something contrasting, even if you don’t initially believe it. Finish by telling yourself something nice (“You’re doing so well!”).
- Cry if you need to, especially while watching some touching films. That’s why they exist!
- Be grateful for the time spent with friends and family. Appreciate them and be happy about their happiness. Fill your time with laughter.
- Smile at people you see in streets and shops. Such micro-connections can boost our mood too.
- Remember that we feel more emotional because we are in the winter survival mode. It’s cold, it’s dark, so not every intrusive, negative thought is here to stay and wouldn’t be here if not for the gloom we face outside.
- Your future is hopeful and you’re on the right path. Trust the process!
Shift Your Focus
Admitting something’s wrong is the first step, and I wish this awareness upon all of you reading this. It’s the beginning of the journey towards emotional awareness and emotional regulation that we all need. However, if you find your mood to be something you cannot cope with, I will always encourage finding a local therapist.
Here’s how to cope with loneliness around Christmas:
Feelings Are Temporary
- Emotions are like clothes – today you wear this but tomorrow you wear something else entirely. Due to their temporary nature, there’s no reason to attach to them too much. If a thought persists for many days and weeks, then maybe it means you need to make some changes.
- Try to understand what you’re feeling and approach it with curiosity, asking questions. Treat what you find out as a guide that will help you live more authentically. Getting one step closer to your dream life. There’s also no reason to identify yourself with your emotions. For example, you’re not sad or angry; you’re merely experiencing sadness or anger. You’re feeling jealous, you’re not jealous.
Occupy Yourself
- Maintain your routines and while it’s okay to have an occasional rot day, make an effort to engage in hobbies and something you’re good at. When we do something we excel in, we feel better and our self-perceived worth goes up. We all can use a bit more genuine self-worth, as we project our self-perceived value to the world.
- Don’t forget to move your body, and for this self-discipline is a must, especially in winter. I would argue that self-discipline is also an act of self love. You made a promise to yourself and it’s essential to remain trust-worthy, even to yourself. Good habits can help to maintain the exercise schedule, but a simple walk is also a wonderful thing to do. Pamper yourself by taking yourself to sauna, solo dates, and engaging in self-care at home.
- Meet your friends and maintain good contact with your social support system. Do things that charge you positively because energy is scarce, so if you have some toxic and triggering people in your life, maybe it’s time to set some proper boundaries to protect yourself from energy drain and emotional distress.
Redirect Your Energy
- Sometimes feeling lonely is a symptom of not enough self love, and the anxiety is just accumulated energy. Try to shift your energy from negative to positive things to rewire your brain. See, our thoughts create our emotions. So if we focus on negative things, we will feel negative emotions. We need to stop the spiral of negative emotions.
- You can do this by challenging your thinking with a contrasting, positive thought instead. Be the observer of your negative emotions, but once they have their moment, it’s up to you to release them.
- When you’re feeling anxious, go for a run, swim, or to the gym – whatever you like to do to move your body and is a vigorous form of exercise. Even just dancing in your room. Release the accumulated energy and I guarantee you – you’ll feel better.
Focus on Quality Connections
- Make sure not to spend too much time alone. It’s not about quantity but quality of your connections. Ensure you’ll see your closest friends and family members for some quality time where you express gratitude for each other and have lots of laughter together. This is healing and charges us positively.
- If you’re far away from all your close connections, consider joining a meetup in your city from meetup.com. I regularly attend two that gather like-minded women that focus on meaningful conversations. Try it 🙂
Meditate and Turn Inwards
- Winter isn’t for thriving but for surviving. We wrongly expect from ourselves that we will be equally productive while the trees go into dormant states, insects and some mammals hibernate for the winter, there’s less daylight, and the cold uses more of our bodily energy to heat us up – but it’s okay to work deadline after deadline as if it’s summer.
- Winter is the time to turn inwards. Reflect on your emotions, life objectives and create a plan to make it happen, starting the next spring. This is the time when you can rest and create enough peace so that you can start hearing what your intentions are telling you. It’s the time when you start working on your emotional regulation and control so that you understand yourself better and treat your emotions as loving messages from your brain, guides that can help you navigate your inner world and figure out your desires.
Visit my YouTube Channel to get access to all my free meditations
Conclusion
As we navigate the twinkling lights and festive melodies of the holiday season, it’s essential to acknowledge that, for some, this time may bring a shadow of loneliness. In this blog post, we went through tips on how to cope with loneliness around Christmas. Embracing these feelings and exploring ways to cope is the first step towards creating a more meaningful and joyous experience.
Remember, the magic of Christmas lies not only in external festivities but in the transformative power of perspective. Reflecting on the positive aspects and choosing to focus on what brings joy can shift the entire experience. The end of the year may bring with it societal pressures and comparisons, but understanding that feelings are temporary and embracing them with curiosity paves the way for personal growth.
Loneliness is not a permanent state; it’s a passing emotion that can be navigated with self-love and redirection of energy. Engaging in meaningful activities, maintaining quality connections, and turning inward for reflection can help create a sense of peace and pave the way for a hopeful and fulfilling future. As winter invites us to turn inward, let this be a season of self-discovery and preparation for the spring of new beginnings.
How do you cope with loneliness around Christmas? 🙂
Share your commitments and ideas in the comments below!
Recommended next post to read:
16 BEST WAYS HOW TO DEAL WITH NEGATIVITY IN LIFE
17 TIPS HOW TO DEAL WITH CHALLENGES IN LIFE
HOW TO NOT FEEL ALONE EVER AGAIN AND BE HAPPY
18 POWERFUL SIGNS YOU’RE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND
