Breakups are some of the biggest lessons we get in life. Each relationship reveals something about ourselves that we didn’t know before. Depending on your resilience, you can emerge from it with new realisations and lessons about yourself. Let’s talk about ways to level up after a breakup.
Breakdown is a Breakthrough
Breakups are very nerve-wracking events that almost everyone goes through in life on top of other difficulties. It’s impossible to go through life without challenges or a broken heart and you know what? It wouldn’t be good either if it was possible.
A breakup is not a breakdown. It’s a breakthrough.
It’s you reaching a certain level in your life and expanding beyond that with force. Many beautiful things in nature happen through events we deem negative.
Rain causes colourful rainbows.
Earthquakes cause beautiful mountains and valleys.
Wildfires cause forests to start new growth and give life to new ecosystems.
Storms cause stunning sunsets.
Your breakup can be a start of something new, beautiful, and life-changing. Sometimes we are too comfortable in our stagnant lives, and the only way to change something is through a powerful emotion. Because emotions are energy in motion, when you start feeling something unpleasant, you will take action. As I stated before, there are no inherently bad emotions.
I look at breakups the same way. They cause a lot of uncomfortable emotions for us to acknowledge, process, love, and learn from. They give us the push we need to change things about ourselves now that we know what wasn’t properly mended yet. Your gateway into deep self-love, self-discovery, and self-acceptance.
Everything is a Lesson
Some time ago, I wrote about my lessons I learned from my past relationships. Each time I believed in my future with a man, I received a life lesson instead. And it wasn’t their fault or I’m not claiming that men are somehow damaged. I learned something about myself I never knew before because I was ready for lessons and not as ready for a relationship as I thought I was. And it’s not even that this particular person was this powerful teacher to me. In a way, yes, but I believe that it could be someone else because it was not the person but the point in time and the state of my consciousness that caused it.
What do I mean by that? I mean that the fruit was ripe for harvest. The lesson was due and I was ready to be given this lesson at that moment. And as much as I very much hated the experience of the breakup and the 1-2 months that followed, it was the most transformative thing that ever happened to me.
You can go through life and see obstacles to your final destination as something negative that you wish was not there. But instead of looking at these events as something happening out of spite, shift your perception to see that everything in your life happens for you and through you, not to you. These obstacles are what will eventually help you grow and break through the current limitations to reach a higher level of consciousness, happiness, bliss, self-love, and fulfilment.
Everyone and everything is a lesson if the student is ready. Be ready and don’t take everything so seriously. Embrace resilience and grow from it. You’re one decision away from this shift in perception. And know this:
Ways to Level Up After a Breakup
“Never let a good crisis go to waste” might be a rather malicious or unsettling sentence when spoken by a politician (originally spoken by Winston Churchill), but in the world of self-development and self-love, it’s actually a very uplifting thing to say.
Through your resilience, you have the power to turn each life challenge into a profound lesson that will bring you to new heights in your life. A breakup or a divorce is one of the most potent life events that feels like the absolute worst thing in the world when we go through it, but from a time perspective, it can be the most transformative one. It’s a bit odd to say that I love my breakup, but it’s actually how I feel about it.
When we fall to the bottom, we suffer immensely. We don’t know yet that at the bottom of that deep pit we’re falling into, there is a divine trampoline. And when we hit it, it bounces our body and soul to heights we’ve never experienced before. This is you levelling up, starting at a very new level of consciousness.
Figure Out Your Desires
In order to reach a certain destination, we first need to know what the destination is. Use this time to understand who you are and what you really want. It’s difficult to have a sense of purpose without a solid direction. And for that, you need to sit with yourself and understand what it is that you want. Don’t judge if what comes up seems too big now. You’re not here to refine yourself but to figure out what it is that you want. Ponder about how you wish your day to look every day for the rest of your life and, based on that, figure out what your professional life, private life, living situation, and partner can bring you closer to this goal.
Work on your own list of non-negotiables in a partner so that when you meet him, you can recognise him and move away from what doesn’t comply with your desires. Ways to level up after a breakup includes levelling up your standards when you know what you want.
Develop Emotional Awareness and Regulation
There is nothing more important than self-regulation and mind discipline when it comes to our emotions and thoughts. Focus your attention on things that are lovely and uplifting, and don’t assign meaning to negative emotions and life events because they will happen once in a while. The thoughts or challenges in our daily life aren’t a sign of failure or something going wrong “as always”; it only becomes a failure when you start dwelling on it in a negative way. Start by relaxing your body and acknowledging that there is a part of you that feels strongly about a trigger, and try to give love to this part of yourself as well. Each emotion is a loving message from your brain.
I wrote a free PDF called “30 Days to Emotional Control” that you can download for free and start your emotional control journey. Insert your email and download!
Glow Up
Glowing up is one of the most visible ways to level up after a breakup. When your self-love increases and you start asking yourself, “What can I do to make myself feel good right now?”, on a daily basis, the natural implication is to start taking better care of yourself. Lack of movement, binge-eating, and not taking care of your body and mind are symptoms of deeply rooted self-hate and unprocessed emotions. The more you love yourself, the more pleasure you’ll get from healthy eating, moving your body, taking care of your mental and spiritual health, and enhancing your beauty. The glow up is no longer a condition for finally loving yourself; it’s its consequence. The more you love and accept yourself, the prettier you become.
Sit with Yourself
Focus on yourself and go into hermit mode for a while. When you can just sit with yourself and journal, meditate, and appreciate what you have and who you have become, the sky is the limit. See yourself as the wonderful person you are, a woman who deserves her desires and is full of love. Don’t confuse yourself with someone you’re not. You are love, bliss, happiness, prosperity, fulfilment. Anything else is untrue. Get rid of all your limiting beliefs. And you can only do this when you spend enough time with just you, giving yourself all the love and validation you could possibly need. When you do that, the world will reflect this back to you. But it all starts with you.
Prioritise Your Self-love and Self-care
If you don’t have time to practise self-love, then schedule it as you would anything else in your calendar. Start by identifying your limiting self-beliefs and negative self-talk that arise during the day. Don’t judge or correct it; just observe and see what comes up. Over time, you will learn to stop it in its tracks and replace it with something positive instead. Talk to yourself as you would to a dear friend. Accept yourself fully and forgive yourself for your past mistakes because without them, you wouldn’t be the person you are right now, and you’re magnificent just as you are. And there’s nothing to forgive if you don’t condemn yourself for your past errors, so don’t see them as such.
Start a Business
Once you figure out what you want in your life, take actions to build your future. We all have unique skills and perspectives that can help others. If you have a solution to people’s problems, you have a business idea and opportunity. Don’t underestimate yourself; follow what feels most natural. Get into the flow state and avoid overthinking. Just do what feels right and enjoyable, and the rest will follow if you surrender and give it time. A burning desire to start something new is one of the great ways to level up after a breakup. Passion makes your eyes sparkle ✨
Invest in Your Personal Development
The best investment you can make is in yourself. Take courses, expand your qualifications, learn new things, and spend money on things that will help you achieve your desired goal: your dream life. Everything else is noise. Not only can money be invested in yourself, but also your time. Realise that your focus and attention are the most valuable assets you have at your disposal. Your attention = your energy = your time. It’s a non-renewable resource, so spend it wisely. Develop a new morning routine that sets a peaceful and productive tone for the day.
Embrace New Experiences
Try new things that bring you joy. Start solo-dating to entertain yourself, join your friends in their hobbies, or even go on a solo trip or hike. Ensure that the place you choose is safe and friendly for female solo travellers. Don’t hold back; find the courage to try new things. Life is about experiencing.
Rebuild Your Confidence and Self-worth
Step one in ways to level up after a breakup: limit your negative self-talk until you no longer engage in it. Give yourself time, patience, and grace. If you’ve been through a breakup, your self-worth has likely taken a hit. Your main goal now is to redirect all your energy towards yourself, build self-trust, and recognise your inherent value. You deserve all the good things you desire. You are worthy and loved. Give yourself all the validation and love you need to stop relying on external validation. Repeat these to yourself, such as with positive affirmations as found on my YouTube channel.
Level Up Your Assumptions
My personal view is that we project our self-perceived value and self-love onto the world. What we feel about ourselves is what we will attract into our lives. So instead of assuming negative things about others and your future, assume only the lovely and positive things. Trust your path, knowing that everything happens for you and the universe conspires in your favour. Start by expressing gratitude for the little things: a roof over your head, water in your tap, friends, family, and a sense of security. If rent bills pile up, be grateful that you have a place to live. See your situation as privileged because in a way, it is. Begin your day by expressing gratitude and setting a positive tone for the day.
Conclusion
A breakup isn’t just an ending; it’s a beginning—a chance to grow and redefine yourself. We went through ways to level up after a breakup. Embrace this period as an opportunity for personal evolution. Each strategy discussed here—from nurturing self-love to pursuing new experiences and investing in personal development—is a step towards a more fulfilling life. By integrating these practices, you’re not just healing wounds but emerging stronger and more resilient. Trust in your ability to turn adversity into opportunity and embrace the journey ahead with compassion and belief in your potential. You deserve the happiness and fulfilment that awaits you.
Recommended next post to read:
HOW TO GIVE YOURSELF PRINCESS TREATMENT
HOW TO WORK ON YOUR SELF-CONCEPT FOR LOVE
7 POWERFUL JOURNALING PROMPTS AFTER A BREAKUP
