Most of the time, being single is awesome (and I genuinely mean that), but there are days when it brings deep sadness, and we feel like something’s missing in our lives. Humans are wired to connect with each other and find purpose in interdependence within our communities and society. Christmas can be a challenging time for singles, so let’s explore some tips on how to survive Christmas as a single lady.
Emotions Are Temporary
Winter isn’t the season for thriving in all areas of life. It’s time for survival to be able to see another spring. Winter invites us to turn inwards and show extra care to ourselves.
I wish society viewed it that way instead of pretending we can be equally productive all year round.
Whatever we feel and experience during winter shouldn’t be taken too seriously. It’s a time when the daylight is scarce, temperatures are low, and we’re not exactly in perfect balance. Our bodily experiences of winter weigh on our inner emotional environment as well.
However, it’s important for us to realise that all emotions, whether good or bad, are just temporary. They are like clothes: one day I wear this, and the next day I wear something else entirely. There’s no need to attach too much or even identify with them. You’re not sad; you’re experiencing sad feelings.
Read more about how not to feel lonely ever again.
Why Do We Feel Lonely?
The feeling of loneliness is just that – a feeling. Most of the time, we have plenty of amazing people in our lives, but we still perceive our situation as being lonely. Sometimes, a person who lives alone isn’t lonely at all, while someone with a large group of friends may feel lonely. These are two different situations and two different outcomes – so it must be dependent on our own perception.
It’s a lack of genuine connection in our lives or the perception of being alone with everything that might be the issue. It can be a tiresome and exhausting state of mind. The feeling of loneliness can be influenced not by the number of connections with others in our lives, but their quality. People with fewer but very close friends might be doing better than someone with a large group of friends, who never allow themselves to be vulnerable with each other and lack insight into each other’s lives, thoughts and emotions.
Another reason for feeling alone is insufficient self-love. Do you value and love yourself enough? When we are in a bad mental place, with negative self-talk and very few personal goals to drive us, our self-perceived value diminishes. I can’t emphasise enough how important positive self-talk and finding motivation and self-love within yourself really are. They’re game changers for how to not feel alone.
These Tips May Help You – I Do Hope They Will!
Admitting something’s wrong is the first step, and I wish this awareness upon all of you reading this. It’s the beginning of the journey towards emotional awareness and emotional regulation that we all need.
Let’s dive into these tips on how to survive Christmas as a single:
Treat and Pamper Yourself
There’s no better time to invest in your own well-being than winter. Turn inwards and do all that will accommodate that. I personally love giving myself spa evenings with sauna, hair masks, intense scrubbing and moisturising at least once a week in the winter. Find a nice gym with a sauna and warm yourself up, with a nice hairmask or oil in your hair – they will love it. Use winter as a glow-up season. Give yourself that solo cinema date evening and treat yourself to a glass of wine. Do it all within reason and without spending all your savings, of course, but you get the idea.
Be kind and gentle to yourself, and don’t bash yourself for feeling “lazy” – there’s no lazy, there’s just people who don’t acknowledge that we aren’t machines and we need rest, especially in the winter (when our ancestors tried to survive and chill, not fulfilling deadline after deadline). Simply, cut yourself some slack.
Don’t Feed the Trolls
Sometimes, our friends and family can be insensitive and ask about our love life in a way that seems challenging. It might trigger something in us if we don’t feel happy as a single lady.
But when people ask “Is there that special someone in your life?”, instead of changing your energy into an angry or depressed and negative one, simply answer with a smile or a straight face, “no”. It’s not a topic of any discussion or a debate. It’s possible to be happy doing self-development and waiting for the universe to send you your man. Nothing wrong with that. Minding your own business and levelling up in the meantime – and it’s awesome.
When he comes, the singlehood is over. So appreciate what you have right now and enjoy your last months as a single lady!
Seek Connections with Loved Ones
Here where I live, people have very tight schedules so if I want to see them, I have to schedule way upfront – weeks before Christmas. Which is ridiculous to me, but hey – it is what it is. But for your own sake – make sure to not spend too much time alone.
As I mentioned above – it’s not about quantity but quality of your connections. Ensure you’ll see your closest friends and family members for some quality time where you express gratitude for each other and have lots of laughter together. This is healing and charges us positively.
Meditations with Affirmations
Ensure you have your emotions in check by meditating and experiencing the present moment. Emotions come and go, but if we let them linger, we risk ruminating and giving them too much attention – they might fire up into a spiral of negative emotions. Acknowledge what you feel, feel it for real and it will go away faster. Engage in self-reflection and try to figure out why you feel certain things to hopefully make some changes.
I personally try to take more vitamin D just in case because the darkness really influences my mood. But this probably won’t hurt.
Volunteer and Give Back
We sometimes need to feel like we’re needed and that we contribute to society in a meaningful and positive way. You can volunteer and give back or donate some money to a good cause. Maybe some elderly people need help in your area, or animals in the shelters require walking. Find something that you can give, and in return, you also receive this warm fuzzy feeling inside.
Recognise Your Self-Worth
We project our value to the world. We don’t really attract what we want but what we already are, which means also that we receive what we think we deserve.
You have inherent value simply by being. You are a unique person with a set of qualities and skills nobody else has. Our worth and value comes from within.
This is why it’s so important to acknowledge your intrinsic value and believe in it, so that this validation is always present within you. It’s like having a team of motivational speakers in your mind.
Conclusion
As we navigate the complexities of being single during the festive season, we explored a couple of tips on how to survive Christmas as a single. Remember that emotions, like winter, are temporary. Acknowledging our feelings is the first step towards embracing emotional awareness and regulation.
While society may pressure us to be relentlessly productive, it’s crucial to recognise the seasonal shifts in our emotional landscape.
Treat yourself with kindness and indulge in self-care. When faced with intrusive questions, deflect negativity with a smile. Cultivate meaningful connections, meditate for emotional balance, contribute to society, and, most importantly, recognise your inherent self-worth.
This festive season, let your inner strength shine, and may you find joy in the warmth of your own company.
What would you add to the list of how to survive Christmas as a single? 🙂
Share your commitments and ideas in the comments below!
Recommended next post to read:
17 TIPS HOW TO DEAL WITH CHALLENGES IN LIFE
HOW TO NOT FEEL ALONE EVER AGAIN AND BE HAPPY
5 WAYS HOW TO EMOTIONALLY DETACH AND ENTER UNBOTHERED GIRL ERA
