In a world where we’re constantly expected to perform, pursue careers, manage families, cultivate hobbies, explore side hustles and please everyone simultaneously, there isn’t much space for ‘me time’. We’ve normalised the idea of hustling and made rest a reward, rather than a right. Let’s delve into ways on how to fill your self-love tank.
Signs You Need to Fill in Your Self-Love Tank
To read more about what is self-love and how it can help you, read this blog post about self-love.
The sad truth is that as a woman in today’s world, we don’t need to search for signs; we can simply guess that you need to refill your self-love tank. Nowadays, women often find themselves constantly in survival mode, operating all day in masculine energy. They contribute to households 50/50, focus on careers and family because society tells us we can have it all. And even if we’re single, we have to support ourselves and make every decision, which is exhausting.
Despite our efforts, we often end up as we always do – stressed, in hormonal imbalances and disease. When our mind and bodies are in dis-ease, numerous conditions and problems can arise. And we’ve normalised this to the extent that not having a condition can seem like an anomaly.
Here are signs that indicate you need to refill your self-love tank if you:
- Feel tired all the time
- Think about work outside of working hours
- Prioritise others’ needs over your own
- Have became quite judgemental towards yourself and others
- Feel jealous of women who have time to relax and think they’re lazy
- Judge women who are supported by their partners
- Find yourself snapping at things beyond your control
- Bought a face mask that’s remained untouched few weeks
- Only experience ‘me time’ in the shower
- Haven’t used a hair mask in months, or maybe ever
- Don’t meditate regularly
- Dislike what you see in the mirror
- Engage in negative self-talk
- Criticise people who unconditionally love themselves, thinking they have big egos
There Are No Bad Emotions
In this blog post about emotions, I pointed out that there are no inherently bad emotions and each is a loving message from our brains. We often interpret them negatively because they feel uncomfortable and require us to take action, which we don’t always want to do.
However, if we get to the root of each emotion, even the negative ones, we can identify the trigger. By understanding why it occurred, we can learn something about ourselves.
When you make this shift, you will start looking at your triggers with curiosity, not judgement. You might think: “why do I feel this? Let’s try to understand”. For example, jealousy is a sign that you desire something someone else already has. It’s a good signal for you that maybe this is something you should work towards as well.
Jealousy tells me that someone has what I want. And if someone else succeeded in getting it, so can I in this abundant world. ❤️
How to Fill Your Self-Love Tank
Let Others Help You
Just because you can juggle ten things at once, it doesn’t mean you have to do it all alone. Let others help you, especially men. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness but strength and knowing your limits. Only insecure people are scared to ask for help, probably because we’re told that if you can do things unaided, you’re self-made and thus people will admire you more.
Schedule a Solo Date
If you feel like there’s never time for self-care, then you simply have to schedule it. Explore some solo dates ideas. And then place it into your agenda like everything else: appointments, chores, life admin activities. Staying at home and enjoying a face mask and a little meditation is a valid plan too, and you can prioritise yourself when others ask if you have plans. Say “no” without getting into details because people will try to manipulate you to have their way.
Rest
Did you know that women need more rest and sleep? The studies suggesting that humans need 8 hours of sleep per day were conducted on… you guessed it! Men! We live in a male-dominated world where everything is mostly designed for them. So, don’t feel guilty if you need more sleep, relaxation, and destimulation than the men around you. It’s your biology and your birthright. You are worthy of rest and it’s not selfish.
Meditate
Going within should be your daily practice. I personally rely on meditation to feel good and relaxed, and if I neglect it for a while, my emotional state worsens. We are exposed to a lot of stimuli in our daily lives and we deserve some destimulation to balance it out. You can also include some breathwork to start your day.
Focus on Yourself
Do you know who has been with you since your birth and will be with you on the day you die? You. You’re the most important person in your life, and if you start pouring your energy back into yourself, you will become calmer and happier. Even on aeroplanes, they advise placing your own mask before helping others, so apply this in your daily life too. Energy flows where attention goes!
Examine Your Relationships and Set Boundaries
It’s time to set some boundaries. Sometimes, we feel exhausted from the people around us because we allow people to take from us without receiving anything in return. Maybe there are some toxic people in your circle. You can identify them by asking yourself: Do I feel energised after I’ve met this person or am I exhausted? Of course, it’s not that easy for us introverts, because we always need to recharge after being social. But if you ask yourself, you will know who in your life makes you feel bad about yourself and if you need to continue keeping them in your life.
Listen to Positive Affirmations and Express Gratitude
Positive affirmations have the most profound impact on how I feel and perceive myself and my life. We receive very strong messages in our childhood and carry them with us to adulthood: messages about what we can and cannot do, how we are, etc. To overwrite this programming, we have to repeat positive things because repetition dissolves resistance. Try sleep affirmations or listen to them as you get ready or work on your daily chores, and you will start seeing a difference very quickly.
Laugh
Find things that make you laugh and try to practise it every day. Regularly spend time with people who make you laugh. If watching funny cat videos on Instagram does that – then do it. It could be small like going to karaoke with friends or organising a board game night at your place. You know best.
Tap Into Your Divine Feminine Through Dance
Tap into your divine feminine – your natural state where you feel relaxed and peaceful. Try to be present and feel your body, leaving your mind behind. Go there by dancing and moving your body in a sensual way, truly soaking it in and enjoying it. Find your favourite music or search for “feminine energy music” on YouTube.
Self-Care
I personally always feel good when I look good, and that starts with regular maintenance of my hair, skin, and nails. Drink enough water, eat as healthily as you can, move your body, and prioritise sleep. These are all parts of self-care. Schedule a self-maintenance block and do all the necessary things to make yourself feel better, whether it’s a simple bubble bath and a face mask or a full-blown home spa.
Practise Radical Acceptance
Accept yourself and your circumstances as they are and create detachment. By adopting radical acceptance, you surrender to reality without unnecessary emotional triggers. Release the need to control everything because you can only control your reaction to what’s happening. The events of your day are really just neutral; it’s the meaning we assign to them that creates emotions. Our thoughts create real emotions, so make sure that you’re seeding your mind with positive thoughts. Read more about how to deal with negativity in life.
Conclusion
The text highlights how in our busy world, self-love often gets overlooked due to the pressure of constant performance and multitasking. We’ve come to see rest as a luxury rather than a necessity, but it’s vital to reclaim our self-worth and prioritise our well-being. Recognising signs like exhaustion, negative self-talk, or neglecting self-care can signal that our self-love needs replenishing.
Self-love begins with small yet impactful actions, such as accepting help and making time for self-care amidst life’s demands. Practices like meditation and introspection can aid in reconnecting with ourselves and building resilience. Ultimately, investing in self-love is an empowering act of self-preservation. By focusing on self-care, setting healthy boundaries, and embracing radical acceptance, we affirm our value and strength. It’s a reminder that prioritising ourselves is not selfish; it’s essential for leading a balanced and fulfilling life.
What are your ways to fill in your self-love tank? 🙂
Share your commitments and ideas in the comments below!
Recommended next post to read:
HOW TO NOT FEEL ALONE EVER AGAIN AND BE HAPPY
HOW TO BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND
18 POWERFUL SIGNS YOU’RE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND
HOW TO BEST START YOUR DAY IN AUTUMN
HOW TO BECOME YOUR OWN DREAM GIRL
